Cabin in the City

Books, cats and midwestern charm.

Reflections

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Seeing 2010 with 20/20

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A lot of folks are recapping the past decade and it’s interesting to see how far my friends and folks I admire have come in the past ten years. While I’m tempted to break down the decade by year, I thought I’d just reflect on where I was ten years ago, because 2010 was a hell of a year, and it really turned me into the person I am now.

I feel like it’s not the brightest spot in my life, yet it’s a time I think about with some fondness. But I’m nothing if not nostalgic—even for bad times. Let’s just get into it.

Picture It… Madison, Wisconsin, 2010

Let me set the scene for you: In January 2010, I was returning to school after winter break. I was friendless, thanks to a huge falling out with all my college friends, and living alone (my roommate moved out after the aforementioned disaster). I was straight up not having a good time.

But I didn’t really process these emotions in any effective way. Instead, I just threw myself into the new semester, a new job and a new project, hoping that they’d fix how I was feeling.

Trying to Fix Problems with Pizza

The first thing I did was get a job at a pizza joint. This filled my evenings and weekends so I didn’t feel so painfully lonely (though I’d never tell you that’s how I was feeling at the time—I’m not even sure I knew that’s what I was feeling).

…and by Just Spending a Lot of Time Alone

I also threw myself into my classes this semester. I took film photography, drawing and journalism (and surely a few others I can’t recall).

Photography and drawing were the perfect classes for me at this time. I could sink a lot of time into a project and say it was for the sake of my art. I could walk into the darkroom on a Saturday morning and not leave until it was time to sling pizzas at night. It was perfect. I was alone, but I was productive—not sad or lonely or in a high-functioning depression (I was all of those things)!

The Unexpected Highlight

But outside of my college’s art wing, I was heading into my first (and truthfully only) journalism class. I remember this class more than any other. I remember how the professor wore a vest every day, where I sat by the door and the beguilingly handsome dude in the VANS sweatshirt that sat at the head of the table (that was Michael!).

I remember the day our first assignments were due. The professor asked for someone to volunteer their piece to critique on the projector. No one wanted to do this, but I was the kind of student who could not stand a lengthy silence, so I just volunteered my piece so we could get on with it.

I was stunned when the professor said it was good.

When I received good marks on my next assignment, I started to gain a bit of confidence. When my professor talked about reviving the school newspaper, I volunteered to copy edit.

Living On the Edge

On assignment trying to see Barack Obama speak in Madison. I didn’t end up seeing his speech (but I heard it well enough to write an article).

When the time came to kickstart the paper (On the Edge), there was only one other student who offered to help, and we became defacto editors-in-chief.

I was instantly hooked on the job. When I came back for the fall semester, I was more excited than ever about the paper. I had a new co-editor and was thrilled about our new staff writer (Michael!).

I loved spending time in our office. There was always a member of our staff there (OK, that person was me) and it was right in the thick of campus. I felt like hot shit as an editor (over-confident as always) and felt like I was reestablishing myself a bit socially (emphasis on “a bit”).

That semester, I felt like the best version of myself working on the paper. I loved calling the shots, working on the layout and seeing my work in print. And getting a shoutout (positive or negative) always pepped me up. I mean, if the dean of students isn’t throwing your paper at you calling a story lies, what kind of editor are you? (This happened and the story was fact.)

The Grand Finale (of 2010, at Least)

In December 2010, I graduated. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I felt proud, accomplished and like I had a mission.

In the end, 2010 showed me where I wanted to go. Falling into that deep hole sucked. But pulling myself up with food (Pizza Brutta is the best pizza place in Wisconsin—try it), art and, most especially, writing saved me. And by the end of the year and the semester, I knew what I wanted after graduation and for my life ahead: to write.

2010 changed me—I had an inkling then, but I can say definitively that it really has. So here’s to 2020. May it be better than 2010, but perhaps just as clarifying and transformative.

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The Mini Crafty Fair

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I planned on writing this post immediately following the Mini Crafty Fair (that was all the way back on December 16!). But I’m glad I waited a bit to give myself a little perspective on the whole business of things. Also this is my third recap in a week. You sick of them yet?

But let’s start at the beginning! Back in December, I set up my first-ever booth at the Goodman Community Center in Madison for the Mini Crafty Fair. I’d been applying to fairs for a few months (after deciding to act on a longtime goal) and I was thrilled to set up shop with the Crafty Fair. It was a pretty chaotic ride, but I’m thrilled I did it. Here’s how the whole journey went:

The Days Before

Leading up to the big day, I was an absolute wreck. And by “leading up” I mean at least the three weeks prior. I was stressed to the max about hitting an arbitrary goal I set for myself. You see, I wanted to create at least 50 hoops to take with me and I was going to get to that number or die trying. While I sacrificed a lot of time and shed quite a few tears, I made it!

The Setup

During my extended panic period, I didn’t have much time to worry about my display. I had been looking for ideas online and was coming up empty. Instead of panicking about not having the most creative setup, I trusted my gut and drew up a pretty simple plan.

My dad, God bless him, made me two easels for displaying hoops. With those, I had a pretty good scaffolding for my setup. I just filled it in with a simple runner that I sewed, a felt letter board (#basiccraftingbitch) and some twinkle lights that I impulse bought at Target.

For how little time I put into planning the table (though, don’t get me wrong, I still put in some time). I was thrilled with how it turned out! It was pretty minimal, but it was easy to set up, easy to shop (hopefully) and a total breeze to disassemble.

The Fair Itself

The day-of, I was lucky enough to have the help of my mom. She picked me up at the crack of dawn (OK, just 7:45am) and drove me all they way out to Madison and helped me set up my table.

Since my booth wasn’t that elaborate, it took only a few minutes to set up and we had plenty of time to see what a lot of the other crafters were up to (and even buy a few things ourselves, like this adorable Old Fashioned ornament!).

The fair opened at 10:00 and I was lucky enough to get a sale in the first ten minutes! A sweet girl picked up a little blerg hoop and I was officially in business! Throughout the morning, I sold a few of my favorite pieces off to really great ladies and that really put me in a good mood. Well, that and being visited by my sisters, aunts, husband, mother-in-law and my oldest friend. Special guests are always welcome!

Admittedly, I kind of got down on myself for the last hour of the fair. I had made a handful of sales, but didn’t really make the splash I was hoping. Maybe my references were a little too specific (that’s what my mom said, but I stand by all my You go, Glen Coco! hoops); more likely, my expectations were way too high. Mostly I came to the uncomfortable conclusion that I spent so much of my free time making an absurd amount of hoops, and in the end, a lot of that work wasn’t necessary.

But I’m not going to get down on myself about that now, because at the end of the day, I set a goal for myself and I achieved it! Plus, if I decide to do another fair in the future, I’ve got a little experience under my belt!

The Cherry On Top

After a long day of hoop hawking, my family was sweet enough to indulge me at the Old Fashioned on the Capitol square. This place is one of my favorite restaurants, and they’re the only bar I know of (south of Wausau, at least) that sells brandy slushes. So I got to sip on one of those and enjoyed some beer cheese soup, onion rings and a prime rib sandwich. It was a good way to wrap up the day and it felt like a great kick-off to the holidays.

At the end of the day, this was a HUGE learning experience for me. And I sort of have the itch to do another!

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From Fool to Problem Solver // Reflecting on 2017

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I already kicked off 2018 with my new Small Goals post, but I realized I put the cart before the horse a little bit – 2017 is over but it deserves a recap. So here’s my obligatory blogger recap of 2017. Cheers!

• • •

OK, let’s start at the start. When 2017 started, collectively we weren’t in a good place. Donald Trump somehow became president. Every one I knew was in a constant state of stress and panic. The whole situation had me feeling tense and garbage-y every day. Of course Donald Trump is still president, but I’m coping slightly better with this.

But on a personal level, 2017 didn’t start off so hot either. I was working at a job that was, well, not a great fit for me. I’d go to bed thinking I don’t want to go to work tomorrow and I’d wake up thinking OMG I definitely do not want to go to work today. And I realized after working a lot of jobs that once that feeling sets in, it’s really hard to shake it.

There were other things, of course. My family had gone though a major upheaval in 2016 (and those effects were still lingering at the beginning of 2017). I realized that never working out was a bad idea. I knew that my house had some serious foundation issues. I was feeling creatively restless. Overall, I was really frustrated with my situation.

Bearing all this in mind, I realized that I had to rely on myself to make some changes. This is a really difficult thing to do – to just generally change up miserable situations – but my parents (especially my mom) raised me to be a problem solver. I saw some major problems in my life and I had to find a way to fix them. Cue this gif:

via GIPHY

But you know the saying, Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t suddenly going to find a new job, become creatively fulfilled, have a structurally sound home, a perfect family and a buff bod overnight.

But I could work on making myself happier. So I started small by treating myself to something I knew would give me some satisfaction: I took a tarot class. I wrote about it here, and it really shaped my entire year. Truly. The card I drew that night, the Fool, symbolizes new starts though sometimes in unknown directions. I placed a lot of faith in that card – that my new direction (hopefully a creative one!) would become apparent – and I tried to remain patient as that path became more obvious.

Days later, the Universe served up something amazing: a call for artists for a tarot-themed art show in Madison. Like I said in the post at the time, holy shit. Except now I mean it ten times more because that show gave me the kick in the pants I needed to get serious about embroidery.

I spent 40 hours making my card for the show. And hot off that finger-numbing exercise, I opened up Kaminski Handicraft. This is a jewel in the crown for 2017 because it is a dream long postponed, and finally come to life. By the end of the year, I beat my personal sales goal for the year! I made 22 online sales and almost as many IRL.

For most of the spring and summer, Kaminski Handicraft pulled me through. Embroidery gave me something to think about while I was at work (and something to do over lunch hour), it was something to tide me over when I was really disappointed with where I was at. However, even with embroidery to occupy my mind, I was in a bad space. I desperately started searching. I felt like Charlie Kelly.

via GIPHY

One evening while at dinner with a friend, I was discussing job prospects. I had zero at the time, but mentioned a position I applied for months prior that still looked to be unfilled. As fate would have it, one of her good friends worked for the company. She said that she’d get in contact with her and give her my name. By the next day, Taste of Home contacted me for an interview. A few weeks after that, I got offered the job. I cried.

Besides these two major accomplishments/problem solves for the year, I accomplished a lot of other tasks. I participated in the Women’s March with my friend Kellie, I signed up with a gym and started weight lifting classes (I know!), I got married to Michael again, we got our basement fixed, I tried some adventurous bakes at home (and for Taste of Home), I participated in my first-ever craft fair and I blogged here more than ever (35 times to be exact!).

• • •

I don’t write this to brag or to be overly proud. I write this because 12 months ago, I was the Fool. I had no idea where I was going, no idea what to do, but with a little problem solving, hard work and help from the Universe, I managed to reset my course.

I sincerely wish you all a healthy, happy and satisfying 2018. Hoping it’s even better than 2017!

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The Hermit // A Holiday 2017 Recap

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This past year, I made it a goal of mine to learn more about tarot. While I didn’t practice with my deck as much as I planned, I definitely made some headway in immersing myself a little more fully in the cards’ meanings and just general metaphysical culture.

One of my greatest (and most helpful finds) of the year was the podcast Tarot for the Wild Soul. I tap into this podcast at the beginning of each month to help me meditate on a few themes for the coming weeks. In December the host, Lindsay Mack, made mention of the Hermit card and how it would come into play throughout the month.

When I first gave this a listen, I was wary of that card. Not because the Hermit is bad in anyway, but it represents solitude or a need to turn inward. And at that time, I was envisioning a fun and boisterous holiday with lots of parties and craft nights, not some quiet, introverted season.

But I found out really quickly in December that pushing myself too hard and forcing myself to do too much was putting me in a really bad space mentally. So from that point forward, I gave myself permission to take the space I needed.

Of course there were still busy days, like working my first craft fair(!) and hosting our annual Christmas party (where most of these great snaps are from!), but days without events were quiet and relaxing. I spent my days at work, pushing through end-of-year projects, and at night I watched Christmas movies and did a little crafting.

But the embodiment of this Hermit holiday really came once Christmas Day came to a close. Every Christmas evening, we head back to our house early and open gifts together under the tree. Some years, ducking out of the party is hard to do, but this year it wasn’t so difficult to tear ourselves away. We got home around 8:30, changed into pajamas and gave one another (and the cats) gifts. It gave us a chance to enjoy each other’s company and all the really magical Christmas feelings.

I carried this Hermit vibe into the rest of the week as well. For the first time since college, I got a winter break! My employer shuts up its offices between Christmas and New Year and being home those extra days was a huge huge treat. Typically I’d be tempted to fill those bonus days with lots of activities and long to-do lists, but instead Michael and I settled into a nice routine of naps, Netflix and snacks. And by not switching into work or do mode right away, we helped stretch the holiday spirit out a little longer (but maybe it was all the Christmas Bob’s Burgers episodes we watched).

Now, work is back in session and I have to emerge from my Hermit hideout, but season filled with solitude, quiet and relaxation did me a world of good, and I’m ready to take on 2018!